The ICU Encounter That Changed Everything
How Witnessing a Patient’s Vulnerable Moment in the ICU Ignited My Passion for Nursing and Set Me on a Path to Holistic Wellness
Hello Substack Community,
My name is Kelly Dubowski, and I’m a holistic nurse coach based in San Diego. I’m also the founder of Hope With Kelly, a private practice dedicated to supporting clients on their journeys toward healing and wellness. I’ve been searching for the right platform to share pieces of my story and the work I’m passionate about, and I’ve found this corner of the internet at Substack to be a beautiful space for that. It feels like the perfect place to connect with others through storytelling and share holistic healing resources.
Today, I want to begin by sharing the journey that led me to become a nurse—a path that has shaped not only my career but also my passion for holistic health.
My journey into nursing began when I was a teenager, growing up in a home filled with waves of chaotic energy. My dad struggled with addiction and my mom was doing her best to hold everything together as their marriage was falling apart. My mom had endured her own tragedy as a child, losing her father to suicide when she was just seven years old. The weight of that loss rippled through our family, and I felt its impact deeply.
As the youngest of my siblings, with a five and seven-year age gap, I absorbed a lot of what was happening around me. In many ways, I became acutely aware of the pain, uncertainty, and instability that shadowed our lives.
When people ask me why I chose a career in healthcare, I often reflect on those early years. I think I was naturally drawn to helping others because I grew up quickly, feeling the weight of my family’s struggles and a strong connection to my late grandfather. Witnessing the pain around me ignited a deep desire to alleviate it in others and honor my grandfather’s memory.
During my teenage years, my therapist introduced me to the profound experience of being in a truly safe and supportive space. This sanctuary provided me with a haven where I could explore my emotions and start practicing the art of healing. This experience has deeply influenced my journey and continues to shape the way I approach my practice today.
What truly solidified my decision to become a nurse was an experience during my senior year of high school. I had the opportunity to do a student internship at Norwood Hospital in the suburbs of Boston, Massachusetts, where I shadowed an ICU nurse for six weeks. That experience left a forever stamp mark on my heart.
I can still vividly recall the energetic feeling of walking into the ICU for the first time—the beeps from left to right, the steady hum of ventilators and heart monitors, and the constant chatter at the nursing station. It was like stepping into a world where every moment mattered.
The first patient I ever shadowed was in the ICU for delirium tremens (DTs) related to alcohol withdrawal. The room was quiet, with no family at the bedside. A picture of him with his twin boys was taped to the wall, a haunting reminder of the life he had outside the sterile hospital walls. He was sedated and couldn’t speak, but over time, he began to open his eyes. I learned from the nurse that he was estranged from his family because of his alcohol use, and the weight of that reality settled heavily in the room.
I’ll never forget the moment I saw a tear roll down his cheek. He was caught between sedation and consciousness, alone yet not entirely unaware of the world around him. The sadness and pain in his eyes spoke to my heart. I watched how the nurse cared for him, acted as his interim family, and provided him with dignity and compassion that transcended the clinical setting. It was a beautiful sight, encapsulating the essence of what nursing truly is: being there for someone in their most vulnerable moments, offering care and humanity when it’s needed most.
It was in that moment, something clicked for me. I knew I wanted to dedicate my life to serving others. This experience marked the beginning of my journey, not just as a nurse, but as someone who deeply values the connection between mind, body, and spirit.
Thank you for joining me here.
I’m excited to share more stories, insights, and reflections as we explore the world of holistic nursing, wellness, and healing.
Stay tuned for next week!
With love & gratitude,
Kelly Dubowski MSN, RN